Pontificating. On it all. And a dating hacker gift from me!
Here's what it comes down to: someone decided long ago that the concept of dating online would mean forgoing all the things we normally get to do when we date in the real world. Like being allowed to discover personal details - or have them revealed to you based on trust. In online dating world you check off a box if you want to date or have a relationship - or get married. In online dating world you let everyone know right up front whether or not you intend to have children. You tell the entire world whether you drink, smoke or do drugs. Or you lie about it. But it's right there on your profile. Sometimes you even have to answer questions about how you feel about one night stands, how important you feel sex is in a relationship, and how sexual a person you are - before you're even allowed to complete your profile.
Seriously? I mean - seriously??
These are personal questions people! If a guy asks me how I feel about marriage and kids on the first - let alone third date - and yes, it does happen, women aren't the only ones with ticking clocks - I'd be looking for an exit route. But online dating has the system completely screwed up. After all, why not discuss marriage and kids with a complete stranger? You know everything about their preferences; background-color: all neatly checked off on their profile! And on the flip side - why bother even considering a dater who doesn't check off the box for "want kids" if you do? Heck, why bother getting to know anyone. Clearly you can tell everything from their picture and profile. What's left for the date?
There are so many people out there genuinely trying to connect - it's mind-boggling. And yet every site I sign up on has a new gimmick - on top of more grocery-list profiles to shop. Is this really what you want? It's not what I want. I want a solution. Oh, wait - I'm working on one.
In the meantime, if you do want to meet peeps online, here's a late xmas/holiday/hannukah gift: you can use FINDMEDATEME to contact members you've searched from paid sites...and not pay. Woop. (I have nothing to do with the service - there's just nothing worth paying for on the paid sites. If they want to make their profiles public, searchable and hackable for however FMDM does it? Pfft. Go nuts.)
If you test FMDM out, swing by and share!
*Feb 17th, 2010 - I just checked the link and FMDM seems to be gone! If you're still curious, here's the link to the home page which was cached on Google January 20th:
Google's cache of http://www.findmedateme.com/
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