Einstein was very helpful in shedding light on how EHarmony's matching system actually works. Basically, he told me to stop pussyfooting around what I want. I thought the whole point of grinding my teeth through the psychological profiling was so they'd find people who matched me based on those characteristics. Apparently not. Einstein said he wasn't even sure what any of that ended up being used for: the system really only takes what you ask for into consideration in the section where you specify what you'd like in a partner. Which is the part where I usually go...well, as long as he's over 6 feet I'm good. And ignore the rest. Except that it seems that within EHarmony's system, anything checked off at a level less than “utmost importance” will make the system disregard.  So based on the fact that I pretty much have no choices listed for what I want in a partner - including height (I think I chose "would be nice") - EHarmony is, indeed, sending me every single guy in Vancouver. Fantastic.

Can we all please take a moment here and think about what this means? Maybe this won't feel like quite the pie in the face that it is until until you've filled out 10 of these profiles (yes, 10 - new sites!) in less than a week - and, more to the point, paid (for almost all of) them - but EHarmony and Chemistry in particular, are promising lonely singles a chance at happiness based on having access to a highly touted psychological matching system which in the end plays little or no part in how the companies execute the process itself. Which they don't explain in the slightest. But why would they, right? This is an industry built on the misery of others - and their level of success is measured on keeping you just unhappy enough that you'll keep paying, keep thinking that love will be right around the corner if you just hang on. Because they know what they're doing. They have the system. It's still all Shamwow though, right? With classier editing and a better timeslot.

It's vaguely worth noting here that I have absolutely no first-hand knowledge of the ACTUAL inner workings of the algorithms EHarmony and Chemistry match by. Just my first-hand annoyance. And Einstein's theory of relative ignorance. Ha Ha.

New dates!

Thursday: Perfect Match! Ha! Match thinks this guy is 86% perfect for me - and so did Chemistry, except he says he's never even subscribed. ooo the intrigue!

Sunday: Lawyer from POF...well, they're only 15 min. dates - I can be curious for round 2! Did I tell you about the lonely firefighter yet? I met a lonely firefighter. Um, somewhere. I forget.

Site Re-Cap:

CLOSED PROFILES

Lavalife - uuuugh (see previous entries). Also not a peep other than the "we'll get back to you in 24 hours!" auto-response. stellar.

Plenty of Fish - received 26 emails from guys I'd never want to talk to. Mostly felt creepy. The guys I contacted myself turned out much better obviously, clearly if you're willing to sift through the huge, huge haystack it's fine for what it is....(Russian Roulette got back in touch to apologize for how our coffee ended and I think we're going to hang out when this whole thing is over...so that I don't have to write about him again!) but not excited to contact others and just generally feel uncomfortable having my photo and profile up - even under a different name. Clicking on the guys who have viewed my profile was not fun either.

NEW -

Nerve.com - dating site is actually through fastcupid.com. Same as usual although very few in Vancouver and it wouldn't let me switch to Seattle once my profile was up.

Yahoo Personals - large dating population in Vancouver. Was surprised to find out this is a paid site - had understood it was free. Is technically free to sign up and make profile searchable - not sure how long I can coast along as free if I want to get in touch with others though. Will leave it until profile is approved in 24 hours in any case. They have a nice feature that I haven't seen else where: you can choose to withhold your profile as private and only display to people you contact - also make a big deal about registering with a first name instead of a "username".

Singlesnet.com - Same old but quick and painless sign up. Another one of these US sites that I think I'll need to switch my location to Seattle for...but I'll give it a couple days (there was a big "lots of Canadian singles!" ad on the front page but when I signed up the quick matches were all in the US and...Chilliwack. yay.)

So we’re on Day 3 – sorry, I skipped a day thanks to an earache - and I am still slogging my way through the “guided communicaton steps” with possible daters on Chemistry a nd E-Harmony (how do you ever meet anyone in person this way???) and Match only JUST approved my profile (not exactly sure, but I think they objected to my use of William Shatner’s name – he’s a cousin twice-removed…too personal!). The guided communication steps are possibly the most frustrating thing I’ve ever encountered in regards to a system supposedly set up to encourage you to connect with another human being (well of course it is – they want to slow down the process, right?) - but is the general idea that if you’re dating online you have absolutely no social skills whatsoever? Have now discovered that E-Harmony does give you the option to “fast-track” – skip all the steps and go straight to email – but they give you this huge long disclaimer and personal letter from some doctor about how you should avoid rushing and are you sure this is what you want to do…I clicked yes! And told my hottie pilot he should come find me on MSN. Oh thank god, no more guided communication on E-Harmony at least!

New site sign-ups:

TrulyMadlyDating: Free to set up profile, wander around

Usability: This one was recommended by a friend who had read about in the NY Times – they do seem to have rather impressive reviews but only two male members in Canada between the ages of 28 – 45. One in Vancouver and one in Montreal! I favorited the Vancouver guy – why not! Same old re set up and with the endless check-off profile questions – I did like the addition of this question: how truthfully have you answered these questions? I checked off “very”. (Which wasn’t the most truthful of them all..like I said…I try!)

Lavalife: Free for most things as far as I could tell. I believe if you want to know who has been checking your profile you need to pay, but sending emails is free. I’ll check back with info.

Usability: Lavalife has always been very easy re meeting guys – especially with the IM function (although guys who IM are not looking for relationships) but since Plenty of Fish turned up on the scene word on the street is that profiles are either dead or skewed very old. We’ll see once my pic gets approved in 24 hours. Just realized while writing this – I only set up one profile in the “relationship” section. Lavalife works with three sections: Dating, Relationship, and Intimate (which – if you’ve ever wandered through – is not for the faint of heart). Have to go back and set up a Dating profile too. Crap.

Plenty of Fish: Free.

Usability: Easy as pie if you like window-shopping for your dates. POF is known for having a buffet of young, hot singles to choose from – my general feeling? Doesn’t matter what anyone says on their profiles here, this is the worst kind of virtual meat market.

Yep, my profile is live. Onwards and upwards!