*At the time of this posting not a single one of the 7 matches I initiated communication with - now going on 13 days from the first - have responded, and it's been two days since Chemistry has sent any new matches. The last one they sent? Based in Washington. So helpful. My email was also not regarding "communication times" - I specifically addressed the validity of Chemistry's memberships. Do you see them confirming that all matches sent are of course active, subscribed members of their community anywhere in this email? I don't. You'd think that would have been an easy one to confirm. If it was true.

Entered on 12/18/2009 at 09:15:13 by Ysauly C:

Dear Member,

Thanks for your question about response times during the guided communication process. We hope that this email gives you the information you need.

Why hasn't your match responded? It's hard to say. There are a number of possible explanations: they may be out of town, busy with work, or they simply may not check the site very often.

You have two options. You can choose to continue waiting for this match to respond, or you can go ahead and close this match by transferring their profile to your Archives. It's up to you.

Want to close this match? Click Chemistry to go to your Active Matches. Click on Not Interested next to their name to move their profile to your Archives.

Please take a moment to fill out this survey to let us know how we are performing.
http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=a5oX1Z_2f14rEov_2bj7JCb1kw_3d_3d

Best of luck,

Chemistry.com
Customer Care Representative
Ysauly C.

(sent Dec 17th @ 5:45 pm via the internal Chemistry Customer Service "Contact Us!" box)

I was matched with Txxxx here on Chemistry - it had been over a week, hadn't heard anything - and then curiously enough I was matched with him (as an 86% match) on Match.com! So I thought, ok, maybe he's not ignoring me, I might as well send an email..and he got back to me right away! To my surprise he said he remembered filling something out for Chemistry, but that he had never joined the service. So - here I am 9 days into my Chemistry membership and as you'll see in my account, not one of the men I contacted has returned my initial contact. Which I'm starting to seriously wonder about - because even on Match, where I'm finding the guys to be rather rude, I get at least some kind of response. Are these actually active profiles from members of Chemistry? As of today I was also told by the system that there are no more profiles for me. At this point I would like a refund because it's impossible for me to contact members directly by email, I have no proof you actually have active members in your system - basically there's no way for me to actually connect and ask to meet anyone!

Please let me know your thoughts because I whole-heartedly tried out your system: I submitted to your never-ending profiling, tried your matching requirements two different ways, and I'm still getting nowhere! If I'm doing something wrong, please let me know. Otherwise, please refund my membership and terminate my account.

Thank you.

*For those of you who don't know, Chemistry is the fancy-pants service launched by Match to compete with EHarmony.

So we’re on Day 3 – sorry, I skipped a day thanks to an earache - and I am still slogging my way through the “guided communicaton steps” with possible daters on Chemistry a nd E-Harmony (how do you ever meet anyone in person this way???) and Match only JUST approved my profile (not exactly sure, but I think they objected to my use of William Shatner’s name – he’s a cousin twice-removed…too personal!). The guided communication steps are possibly the most frustrating thing I’ve ever encountered in regards to a system supposedly set up to encourage you to connect with another human being (well of course it is – they want to slow down the process, right?) - but is the general idea that if you’re dating online you have absolutely no social skills whatsoever? Have now discovered that E-Harmony does give you the option to “fast-track” – skip all the steps and go straight to email – but they give you this huge long disclaimer and personal letter from some doctor about how you should avoid rushing and are you sure this is what you want to do…I clicked yes! And told my hottie pilot he should come find me on MSN. Oh thank god, no more guided communication on E-Harmony at least!

New site sign-ups:

TrulyMadlyDating: Free to set up profile, wander around

Usability: This one was recommended by a friend who had read about in the NY Times – they do seem to have rather impressive reviews but only two male members in Canada between the ages of 28 – 45. One in Vancouver and one in Montreal! I favorited the Vancouver guy – why not! Same old re set up and with the endless check-off profile questions – I did like the addition of this question: how truthfully have you answered these questions? I checked off “very”. (Which wasn’t the most truthful of them all..like I said…I try!)

Lavalife: Free for most things as far as I could tell. I believe if you want to know who has been checking your profile you need to pay, but sending emails is free. I’ll check back with info.

Usability: Lavalife has always been very easy re meeting guys – especially with the IM function (although guys who IM are not looking for relationships) but since Plenty of Fish turned up on the scene word on the street is that profiles are either dead or skewed very old. We’ll see once my pic gets approved in 24 hours. Just realized while writing this – I only set up one profile in the “relationship” section. Lavalife works with three sections: Dating, Relationship, and Intimate (which – if you’ve ever wandered through – is not for the faint of heart). Have to go back and set up a Dating profile too. Crap.

Plenty of Fish: Free.

Usability: Easy as pie if you like window-shopping for your dates. POF is known for having a buffet of young, hot singles to choose from – my general feeling? Doesn’t matter what anyone says on their profiles here, this is the worst kind of virtual meat market.

Yep, my profile is live. Onwards and upwards!

Four down...26 to go! No, this is just sign-ups. what? you thought I'd be dating already? ha! um, yeah so did I. Keep reading.

Last night I sat down and started out with Plenty of Tweeps (new local baby), Match, Chemistry and Eharmony. Took me less than 6 minutes to sign up for Plenty of Tweeps (yay!) although that would be because everyone is ignoring the request to fill out the personal bio so I did too – which, in the other sign-ups turned out to be the least tedious part. Go figure. Meanwhile I was PRAYING for Chemistry’s “Helen-Fisher vetted” questionnaire to end and had to get drunk just to drag myself to through the last stage of Eharmony’s. (Which also turned out to still be another FIVE pages from the end). I swear I was trying to be as truthful as possible (my knee-jerk response to generic armchair-psychology-style questionnaires is – gasp! – inappropriate sarcasm…but I am TRYING) …and Eharmony was bugging me with their questions about sexual compatibility – which you have to answer – and which really are none of their business or (more to the point) how I would ever choose to look for someone to date by multiple choice – so by the time I got to the short answer “name three things you’re thankful for” I said: my family, Vancouver and potatoes.

Well it’s true. I love them.

So. Quick re-cap.

Plenty of Tweeps: Free.

Usability: meh. We’ll see. Had to sign up for a new twitter account aside from my work one because there’s no way I’d want work connected to the site…it’s just too public. So now Dating Me looks like Loser Me With No Friends. Which kind of works against you in POT world. I know, deep.

Match: Free if I only want to wink. I think I'll do the free winking and let the guys on this one get in touch with me. (Unless I have to pay to read mail...argh, I didn't check. Well, I guess we'll find out!)

Usability: Easy enough, seem to be a lot guys in Vancouver but to be blunt, out of about 60 (40? Quick scan, there was wine) I only saw one attractive pic. Match also in a class action suit about dead profiles – they deny. Curious. Especially since all of these clearly had a note saying active within 24 hours to 3 days. But maybe that's WHY. Ooo - intrigue!

Chemistry: $49.95/ One month – 10 matches for me which I was privvy to after the never-ending profiling, but you have to pay to get in touch. Which I did, oh joys.

Usability: Meh. 2 of the 10 seem of interest. You get 5 new a day. I’m curious if they have that many in Vancouver - this morning there were only 3 new. Where are my 5 dammit! Also the communication set-up is for toddlers – it’s too annoying to explain in full but there are still like, three more baby steps before I can even email with these guys. Shoot me now. For $49/month someone should be able to say hello without jumping hoops. We are not teenagers.

E-Harmony: $59.95/One month – same deal as Chemistry. Have to pay to get in touch and E-Harmony won’t show you pics til you pay. Only got six matches here.

Usability: Also has the fify-ways to Sunday steps before you can actually contact anyone. What does a girl have to do to get a phone number around here?? Kidding. But here’s my question – Eharm’s pricing is very clearly geared towards getting you on their 12-month plan. On the 12-month? $19.95/month (for plunking down $239.40 up front). Not exactly suggesting that their system works is it? Who the heck wants to be on here for a year? Just saying.

All the sites had profile & pic approvals, so I believe I've just been unleashed on the (few) online men of the world...(stay tuned for video blogs - starting later this week!